Look My Way
by S.J. Kohl
Summary: Clouds tries to seduce Sephiroth and gets somewhat tangled up in his own inexperience. SephirothxCloud
1. Chapter 1

Look My Way  
By S.J. Kohl

Pairing: (Cloud/Sephiroth)  
Rating: R  
Summary: Clouds tries to tempt Sephiroth and gets somewhat tangled up in his own inexperience.  
Disclaimer: Cloud belongs to Sephiroth, not to me. 

Cloud hunched his shoulders and slunk down the hall, trying to look as harmless as possible. He was usually left alone that way. The other SOLDIER trainees weren't cruel, for the most part, but they were invasive. Argumentative. They were all young, after all, most of them no older than his own fifteen years, and they were all fighting for a place here. He was small for his age, slender and frail-looking, and his clear, beautiful features acted as an open invitation for trouble. Over the past several months of training, Cloud had devised a means of staying beneath the scope of the other trainees' attention, and, except on the practice field, they almost seemed to have forgotten he existed at all.

It was a lonely sort of life, but Cloud was no stranger to solitude. He'd been alone all his life, after all. But there was something different about this place; he didn't really feel alone anymore. He had a purpose now, a goal to work toward. One he was determined to achieve. And…he had someone who cared whether or not he reached that goal. Cloud flushed slightly as he stepped quickly down the hall, hands shoved in his pockets, fluorescent lights beaming down on him in utter indifference. He had Zack. And Zack was…

He didn't know exactly what Zack was. A…friend, he guessed. Cloud didn't know. He'd never really had a friend before. Zack certainly seemed interested him, that was for sure. He'd been following Cloud around ever since he'd first arrived, making sure his quarters were satisfactory, that no one was trying to bully him, that his training sessions were going all right. He'd even had himself assigned as Cloud's personal mentor, taking him out for extra training because, he said, Cloud had potential beyond that of an average cadet. Cloud wasn't really sure how much stock he put in that pronouncement; he thought it more likely that Zack felt sorry for him, but still… The officer _seemed_ harmless.

Well, harmless wasn't any sort of an appropriate descriptor for Zack. He was First Class, after all. A demon on the battlefield and in the salle, and, to top it all off, he was the General's second-in-command. But he didn't seem like the men back in Nibelheim who had liked to spend time with young boys—not that he was really much older than Cloud was…

But Zack seemed to genuinely want to be Cloud's friend, for whatever reason. Cloud still wasn't sure of his motives, but, by this point, he was pretty certain of the man's intentions.

Cloud's footsteps slowed and faltered slightly as two low voices curled around the upcoming corner in easy conversation. One voice was definitely Zack's, and the other… It was smooth and deep, unconsciously seductive, and Cloud felt his pulse begin to throb in his veins as the low, melodic sound brushed across his mind. The other voice could belong to no one but the General. Cloud gulped. General Sephiroth and Zack were talking and laughing softly around a corner not more than twenty feet away from him.

One hand braced against the cinderblock wall for support, Cloud looked around him. There were no other hallways branching off of this one; the only other way for him to go was back, but that just wasn't possible. Cloud had to get back to his bunk in the cadets' barracks to change before afternoon session, and the only way to get to the barracks was around the corner. But…the General was around the corner. Cloud couldn't face Sephiroth. He was just a scrawny little trainee; how could he possibly be so rude as the get in the way of the great General Sephiroth?

Taking a deep breath and straightening his shoulders, Cloud took a step forward, and then another. Slowly, inexorably, he made his way down the hall, trepidation marking his every move. Zack's easy grin came into view as Cloud finally rounded the corner, but Cloud was too enthralled by the sight of the General to pay him much attention. Sephiroth…the great General Sephiroth was standing right in front of him, and he was more amazing than Cloud could ever have imagined. He was tall, more than six feet, and he towered over Cloud's tiny form, his shimmering silver hair falling to brush the backs of his leather-clad knees. Cloud gulped again and tried to pull himself into a respectful salute.

But with an easy laugh, Zack grabbed his arm and pulled it away from his face, jerking Cloud over to his side and sliding a comfortable arm across Cloud's slim shoulders. With a broad wink of one too bright blue eye, Zack grinned down at "his" cadet and then looked up at Sephiroth. "Seph, this is the trainee I told you about. Cloud Strife."

Sephiroth nodded in acknowledgment, his catlike green eyes glittering as he stared down at Cloud, a feral smile tugging at the corners of his sensual lips. "Cadet Strife. Zackary speaks very highly of you. So, how do you like it here at the compound?"

Cloud's mouth opened, but no words would come out. The General was speaking to him. The _General_ was _speaking_ to him. "I—ah," he stuttered, licking his lips. "I t-think I l-l-like it all right, General sir."

Sephiroth chuckled and quirked one elegant silver eyebrow. "I'm glad to hear it. We wouldn't want to let you out of our grasp, after all."

Cloud glanced up at Zack uncertainly, but he was no help at all. He just kept grinning, his expression almost smug. "Y-you wouldn't, sir?"

"Of course not, cadet." Sephiroth's tongue flicked out to lick across his full, wickedly enticing lips, and Cloud's breath caught in his throat, his eyes wide and staring, unable to break away from the slick gleam of the General's tongue. He swallowed, feeling a red flush creep across his cheeks as his body came alive as it had never done before. He barely stopped a low, needy whimper from slipping past his parted lips. "We don't let cadets as…valuable…as you get away very easily. Now, if you will excuse us," he nodded once, sharply. "Zackary and I have some business we must take care of."

"See ya, Strife," Zack called, ruffling Cloud's blond, spiky hair as he turned the corner, taking Sephiroth with him.

Cloud stood blinking stupidly after them, his body hot and flushed, his mind reeling. What in Holy's name had just happened? Shaking his head, his breathing fast and shallow, Cloud stumbled off down the hall toward the barracks. Perhaps he should take a shower before practice.

A cold one. 


	2. Chapter 2

Look My Way  
Part Two: Touch

Summary: Clouds tries to tempt Sephiroth and gets somewhat tangled up in his own inexperience.

It had been several days since that brief meeting with the General in the hallway, but Cloud couldn't seem to take his mind off of Sephiroth for longer than a few minutes at a time. No matter what he did, his thoughts kept straying back to the silver-haired god who had stood before him, depthless green eyes staring down into Cloud's wide blue ones, glittering with hidden knowledge and untapped secrets. Cloud swallowed, his fingers trembling as the General's beautiful, angular face drifted inexorably to the surface of his mind. He felt hot and sticky, and his breath was coming in short, ragged gasps. Sweat trickled down the back of his neck, and it wasn't just from the punishing heat of the Midgar sun.

Cloud felt the flesh between his legs begin to stir and harden, and he groaned almost silently beneath his breath. Not again. His face flushed at the memory of the dreams he'd had last night, dreams of Sephiroth's hands, Sephiroth's lips caressing his skin in places no one had ever touched. When he'd awakened, the sheets had been sticky and damp. Cloud bit his lip, hoping no one was paying attention to him. They were supposed to be practicing on their own, working on hand fighting techniques against sets of pells. Snarling, he launched his right fist at his target, a tough cylinder of sand-filled leather suspended from the ceiling. His blow landed with a solid thunk and Cloud grinned in satisfaction. Next, he launched into a flurry of short punches, followed by strong kicks alternating between his left and right legs.

He channeled all his frustration, all his confusion into his mock battle, scowling heavily as one fierce blow after another struck solidly against the leather. Slowly, arousal began to fade, replaced first by anger and then by sheer, undistracted purpose. Practice was not the time for irreverent thoughts about the General. He didn't know where they were coming from, or why he was suffering so, but if he must indulge himself, it would not be now, not when his mind was supposed to be absorbed by training. Cloud's blows fell harder and stronger, closer together, as his concentration narrowed to encompass nothing but the target and the balance of his body. He didn't notice when the instructor called the other cadets to a halt and turned them to watching him, didn't notice that his skills and techniques were being analyzed and praised. And, as one final barrage of punches followed by a furious circle kick split the bag and spilled sand across the arena floor, he didn't notice a silver-haired shadow watching him from just beyond the open door to the practice room.

----------

Mopping the sweat from his brow with a thick white towel, Cloud stumbled through the door of the practice room and out into the hall. He was completely exhausted. He hadn't realized how hard he'd been pushing himself, and practice had run over this afternoon. It was long past time for lunch. Cloud frowned and shook his head, groaning into the towel as he ran it across his chin and neck, grimacing at the cooling sweat that trickled down his skin. He didn't know what he was going to eat. The mess hall would have closed up more than half an hour before, and he didn't keep snacks beneath his bunk like most cadets. Perhaps Zack would be able to find him something, but no…Zack was taking a group of cadets on an overnight mission. Shrugging philosophically, Cloud was about to start toward his barracks and a shower, but a firm, cool grip on his arm stopped him before he took a single step.

"Cadet Strife."

Cloud froze, his heart pounding in his ears at the sound of that voice, at the icy fire of that touch on his arm. Closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep, steadying breath, Cloud turned to face the General. "Yes, General Sephiroth?"

"You look exhausted, cadet. Have you been overstepping your limits?"

"No, sir," Cloud shook his head, his blue eyes wide with just a hint of fear. "It was just a long practice, sir."

Sephiroth nodded, slowly. Shrewdly. His eyes narrowed, and then his grip on Cloud's arm tightened. "Come with me, Cadet Strife."

"I—um," Cloud tried to protest, but Sephiroth's strong hold brooked no objections. He stumbled as he tried to keep up with the General's long strides down the deserted corridor. "Yes, sir."

Sephiroth didn't reply. He simply led Cloud through a veritable maze of passageways and corridors, up several different elevators to floors Cloud knew for a fact he wasn't supposed to see until long past acceptance into SOLDIER. Finally, they'd stopped before a nondescript, black metal door, where the General swiped a key card through a small slit. With an audible click, the door opened and Sephiroth shoved Cloud through before him.

Blinking stupidly in the dim light, Cloud struggled to focus on his surroundings. When his eyes adjusted, he almost gasped aloud. He was in what appeared to be the General's personal quarters. Cloud gulped, swallowing down the flush of arousal that tried to rise, unbidden, in his cheeks. There could be no doubt about it. This was most definitely _not_ where he needed to be.

"Have a seat," Sephiroth stepped around him, gesturing vaguely at a black leather couch in the center of the room. The furnishings were spare and sleek—black and silver and cream. A couch, a steel and glass coffee table, a large television Cloud suspected was rarely, if ever, cut on, and a slim stand with a phone and a pad of paper—these were the only articles of furniture in the room. There were two doors, one to the kitchen and one to a bedroom. Gingerly, Cloud took a seat on the edge of the leather couch. With so few seats, it was obvious that the General didn't often entertain visitors. He could hear Sephiroth moving around in the kitchen, slamming doors and rummaging through cabinets. He wanted to go help with…whatever the General doing, but he didn't dare. He had been told to sit, so sit he would.

But Cloud couldn't stop his mind from straying back to Sephiroth. He was just as beautiful now as he had been three days ago. Same form-fitting black leather uniform, enticingly open with only one buckle fastened across his chest, same gleaming, reptilian eyes. Same wicked smile. Cloud growled, fighting the tightening he could feel between his legs. _Not here. Sweet Ancients, not here._ He didn't know what the General would do if he found Cloud in such a disrespectful state, but he suspected it wouldn't be pleasant.

Blinking, Cloud looked up as a tray was set before him on the coffee table, and he met a pair of darkly amused green eyes. Cloud blushed and looked back down, hoping his thoughts weren't plain upon his face. Then he blinked again. On the tray was a selection of fresh fruits and cheeses, a few small sandwiches, and even a glass of deep red wine. Brows furrowing, Cloud looked back up at the General.

"I don't have much lying around, I'm afraid, just what I ordered from downstairs last night, but this should be better than nothing." Sephiroth quirked an eyebrow expectantly.

With a grateful nod, Cloud leaned forward and lifted a sandwich to his lips, taking a bite as Sephiroth took a seat beside him. They weren't touching, but they were close. Cloud had to concentrate to keep from choking, and he barely tasted the food as it slid down his throat. He ate in silence, watching the General out of the corner of his eye. Sephiroth just looked at him, leaning back into the comfortable embrace of the soft leather, his left ankle resting on his right knee. When he'd finally devoured the last strawberry and sucked the sweet juice from his fingers, he leaned back too, a soft, contented smile stretching across his lips. He didn't know what had prompted the General to take such an interest in his well-being, but if he got food out of it, well…it couldn't be too bad, could it?

But then the General was moving, leaning toward him and moving him around like a doll, stripping his shirt off and shoving him down onto his stomach. Cloud groaned, unable to hold back the needy sound that spilled from his lips as heat spread through his body and pooled between his legs. He shivered beneath the General's touch.

Sephiroth laughed from behind Cloud, his strong hands, now slick with a healing lotion, kneading the knotted muscles of Cloud's bare back and shoulders. "You're far too tense, Cadet Strife. Next time you work pells, have a care to stretch properly beforehand."

"Yes," Cloud gasped as Sephiroth hit a particularly tender spot. "General."

No more words passed between them. The General's touch was knowing and firm, and—as much as Cloud's traitorous body longed for further contact—it never crossed the line from professional to personal.

By the time Sephiroth leaned back, Cloud's muscles were relaxed, and he lay limply against the warm leather of the couch. His lips were parted and his pupils dilated, and his skin tingled where the General's fingers had melted into him. As Sephiroth stood, a thin thread of panic began to thrill through Cloud's veins. What was he supposed to do now? His body was aroused almost to the point of pain, and he couldn't stand up like this. He couldn't let the General know he wasn't worthy of the man's attention, that his duty and his place in Shin-Ra Corporation meant so little to him in the shadow of his baser desires.

But Sephiroth solved the problem quite neatly for him.

"You look parched, Cadet Strife," he murmured, looking down at the pale expanse of Cloud's shoulder blades. "Let me get you something to drink."

As soon as the General's soft footsteps retreated from the room, Cloud seized his shirt from the floor and fled the room, navigating the halls back to his barracks on nothing more than grim determination. 


	3. Chapter 3

Look My Way  
Part Three: Tremble

Summary: Clouds tries to tempt Sephiroth and gets somewhat tangled up in his own inexperience.

Cloud trembled in the doorway as he watched the General sparring with Zack. His skin was hot and shivery, and he couldn't stop his tongue from snaking out to lick his lips in futile anticipation at the easy way Sephiroth gripped the long handle of his sword, Masamune. The way he moved… It was like a dance. A graceful, deadly dance in which he led and Zack followed. Cloud admired Zack for the way his movements matched the General's, for his lightning-quick reflexes and ingenious counters. He was the only one with even a chance of surviving for long against Sephiroth.

Yes, Cloud admired Zack. And envied him. Zack was in there, in the otherwise empty practice, enjoying a friendly sparring match with General Sephiroth, his best friend and superior officer. And Cloud was out here, a scrawny neophyte with a message to deliver, nothing more. He moaned softly, low in his throat as the power of Sephiroth's next blow knocked Zack to the ground, his huge sword skittering and sliding across the floor to slam against the base of the back wall. Cloud expected the General to press his advantage, then, to force Zack into a forfeit, but he didn't. Instead, he stepped forward and extended a hand to Zack, pulling the bulkier man to his feet. Cloud couldn't see the General's face, but Zack was wearing his customary easy grin. He shook his head and muttered something too low for Cloud to hear, ostensibly in response to some question of Sephiroth's. 

Cloud's eyes were wide and thoughtful. He had seen the General many times over the weeks since their first meeting, had seen him in company with a lot of other people—Turks, SOLDIERs, other cadets like Cloud, even civilians and scientists like Hojo. And always the General had been civil and courteous, if a bit cold, but he'd never seen Sephiroth act with any of them the way he did with Zack. He'd never seen Sephiroth smile, a real smile, around any of the others, not like he did with Zack.

And with him, Cloud realized with a sense of dawning wonder. From the first time he'd met the General, he had seen a different side of the man than almost anyone else was allowed to see. He saw Sephiroth, the man. And the General was a man, loathe though most people were to admit it. Cloud's breath caught in his throat as images of their past meetings flickered across his mind. _Sephiroth, smiling wickedly down at him, licking his lips in a slow, seemingly unconscious gesture. Sephiroth, presenting him with a tray of food served and prepared by his own hands. Sephiroth, gently kneading the knots and kinks from Cloud's sore, tortured back._ Perhaps he'd been reading the General wrong all this time. Perhaps Sephiroth wouldn't find Cloud's attraction to him as repulsive and disrespectful as Cloud had assumed he would.

It hadn't faded. If anything, it had grown stronger throughout the past days and weeks. Sephiroth hadn't made any mention of Cloud's fleeing his apartment, for which Cloud had vowed to be eternally grateful, but they _had_ managed to grow closer together since then. Sephiroth had taken an interest in him; he'd begun standing on the sidelines during Cloud's practice sessions with Zack, offering advice and criticism, and he'd had Cloud placed on courier duty two days out of every week. Those days he spent running messages for Sephiroth, and it gave them a lot of time to talk together. Alone. It was a strictly professional interest, or so Cloud had originally thought. Now he wasn't so sure.

Fingers snapped before his eyes and Cloud blinked, shaking the cobwebs from his mind. "S-sorry."

"How long you been standing there, Spike?" Zack asked, his hands crossed over his chest, his sword strapped to his back.

"Not long," Cloud looked down, his cheeks tinged faintly with red for telling even so small a lie to these two men.

"Uh huh," Zack snorted. "Next time, try coming in, kid. You don't need to wait outside the door like a trained puppy."

"Hey!" Cloud glared, hands on his hips. "I'm not a puppy!"

"Well then, stop—"

"Children, children," Sephiroth interrupted, his gloved hand ringing a stinging smack to the back of Zack's thick skull. "Grow up, Zackary." He looked at Cloud. "Do come in next time, Strife. Just make sure you stay on the sidelines where you won't get hit."

Cloud nodded solemnly. "Yes, General."

Sephiroth shook his head and smiled, just a slight lift at the corners of his full lips. "Just Sephiroth. I've no need to stand on ceremony among…friends."

Cloud practically glowed.

Coughing slightly, Zack ducked his head and pushed past Cloud, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously as he turned to look back at them. "All right…friends. I'll see you both later."

With effort, Cloud rolled his eyes nonchalantly and reached into his pocket, pulling out a slightly crumpled white envelope. "Message for you, sir. Err, S-Sephiroth."

"Thank you…Cloud."

Cloud couldn't stop the nervous, pleased trembling that rippled through his form at the sound his name on Sephiroth's lips. The glow that had suffused him only grew brighter on his trek to Sergeant Gloster's office for the bi-weekly report on cadet performance. 


	4. Chapter 4

Look My Way  
Part Four: Tempt

Summary: Clouds tries to tempt Sephiroth and gets somewhat tangled up in his own inexperience.

"Zack?" Cloud sat on the edge of Zack's unmade bed, staring determinedly down at his feet.

"Yeah?" Zack spun around in his chair, the wheels squeaking against the tile floor of the room.

"Um…" Cloud flushed, not quite sure how to phrase his question. He had to ask, and there wasn't anyone more likely to know than Zack. Besides, Zack was the only one he _could_ ask about this. Anyone… Cloud shuddered. He really didn't want to think about what would happen if he asked someone else.

"Spike?" Zack's blue eyes were narrowed in concerned confusion.

"Does…doessephirothhavealover?" Cloud spit the question out in a rush, the damning words nearly hissing as they rolled across his tongue.

"Does…?" Zack leaned closer. 

Cloud sighed. It figured that Zack wouldn't have been able to decipher that mangled little speech. His face was a rich scarlet now, colored all the up into the roots of his blond hair. This time, he spoke slowly and clearly. What more did he have to lose? "Does Sephiroth have a lover?" He paused then, holding his breath as he waited for Zack's explosion of mocking laughter.

But it never came. Finally, unable to stand the silence any longer, Cloud looked up.

And met a pair of deep, compassionate blue eyes. And suddenly he remembered that this was Zack, his friend and mentor, and not the other cadets or the kids from back home in Nibelheim. Zack would never laugh at him. Well, not from cruelty, anyway. Cloud swallowed thickly. "Well, does he?"

"No," Zack shook his head.

"Has…" Cloud took a deep breath. "Has he ever had a lover?"

"Several. None that really meant anything to him. One that tried to kill him." Zack shot a measuring look at Cloud and leaned back in his chair. "Why do you ask?"

"I…" Cloud hesitated.

"And don't lie to me, Spike. You know I know the answer already."

Cloud glared at him. "Then why make me say it?"

"Because I want to be sure." Zack grinned. "Because I won't answer any more of your questions until you answer mine."

Cloud huffed indignantly. Silence, punctuated by Zack's amused smirk, stretched thin between them. "Fine," Cloud finally breathed. "I-I want to be his."

"His lover?"

Cloud shrugged. "I guess. I just want to be his."

Zack nodded and grinned. "I knew the moment I first saw you swinging my sword, struggling with everything you had to keep it off the ground."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't have touched it if I'd known it belonged to a SOLDIER."

"I'm sure. But I knew then anyway. If anyone could be a match for him, it would be you."

"What about you?" Cloud blurted. He bit his lip. He hadn't meant to actually ask that.

Zack just chuckled softly. "My heart's taken, Spike. Besides, I don't swing that way."

"And he does?"

Zack shrugged. "It's more like…he doesn't really swing at all. Gender doesn't seem to matter to Seph. What does matter is trust. He hasn't let anyone near him since he slaughtered the bitch who tried to kill him in his sleep. He trusts you, Spike. He'd be a fool not to."

"So…I have a chance?"

"You'll have to make the first move. Much as he might want you—and he hasn't said anything to me about it either way, so don't bother asking—you're young. Innocent. He won't pounce on you. Besides, he's already been betrayed once. He's not in a hurry to chance it again. I wouldn't imagine it's pleasant to have to scrape your bedfellows up from the carpeting."

Cloud grimaced and rose slowly to his feet. "Thanks, Zack. I think…I'm going go down to dinner now." He padded across the room and stepped out, closing the door softly behind him. He had a lot to think about.

--------

Cloud's eyes were a stormy, brooding blue as he sat in the shade against the back wall of the equipment shed behind the practice field. He'd tried everything he could think of to tempt Sephiroth into inviting him to his bed. He'd asked the General to spar with him, ending the match with him pinned to the floor beneath Sephiroth, panting and very much aroused. He'd eaten dinner with the man, sucking sweet crème sauce from his fingers during dessert, his eyes fluttering closed in sheer bliss as he slipped the slender digits between his lips. He'd even convinced Sephiroth to give him another massage, moaning and writhing shirtless on the leather couch beneath Sephiroth's firm touch.

All incredible experiences, to be sure, but none of them had allowed him to achieve his goal. And he hesitated to use a more direct approach. Sephiroth had killed the last person who'd shared his bed, after all. The woman had deserved it, of course, but still… He didn't want Sephiroth to think of him as any sort of threat. But if he hounded the General, pouncing on him like a two-gil whore like he was tempted to do, what would that do the bond of trust and friendship that had grown between them? No, Cloud shook his head ruefully. He couldn't do that.

He'd tried telling Sephiroth what he wanted, how he felt. But he hadn't been able to spit out the words. He didn't know how to bare his soul like that. Cloud flushed just thinking about it. _I dream about you every night. Your hands, your lips, your… I-I love you, Sephiroth._ And Cloud realized with a start that it was true. He did love Sephiroth. That's what he had meant when he'd told Zack, "I want to be his." He wanted to belong to the General, wanted to know he had a place with Sephiroth. Always.

Cloud released a savage, frustrated growl and ripped brutally at his air, his feet pounding against the hot, dusty ground beneath him. "Why won't you look at me!?" he screamed, not caring whether anyone was around to hear him. Tears of misery burned behind his eyes, leaking forth to seep from the corners, blazing trails over his cheekbones and down his chin. His voice dropped to a dark whisper. "Why don't you see me?"

A familiar shadow fell across him, then, and Cloud looked up, dread sinking in his stomach. Scrubbing hastily at the tears on his cheeks, he scrambled to his feet and pulled himself into a hasty attention. "Afternoon, General."

"You weren't at your courier post this morning, Cadet Strife." A statement, not a question. It left no room for explanations.

"No, sir," Cloud responded sharply, not daring to even flinch at the ice in the General's tone. He cursed inwardly. He'd forgotten about courier duty, had thought he was only skipping classes.

"You'll report to my quarters tonight after the last dinner bell to discuss this infraction, cadet."

"Yes, sir," Cloud answered, burning with shame and guilt. He'd disappointed Sephiroth. He'd broken faith with him and demonstrated his worthlessness as a soldier. After all, what use was a warrior who refused to follow even the simplest of orders?" As Sephiroth walked away, Cloud stared longingly, miserably after him, never noticing the other figure who stood in the shadows at the edge of the practice field. 


	5. Chapter 5

Look My Way  
Part Five: Surrender

Summary: Clouds tries to tempt Sephiroth and gets somewhat tangled up in his own inexperience.

Almost shaking with shame and trepidation, Cloud knocked at the General's door. He didn't want to think about what was going to happen, didn't want to think about the fact that he had ruined any chance he might have had at becoming important in Sephiroth's eyes. Self-pity. It had always been a vice of his. So Sephiroth hadn't succumbed to his clumsy, adolescent attempts at seduction. So what? Cloud could see now that it wasn't important, that he should have just told the General to begin with. Zack had pretty much said flat out that Sephiroth wasn't going to take him as a lover unless he made the first move. If then. Well, he hadn't really. He'd been offering himself obliquely, still expecting Sephiroth to act on those hints of promise.

And Sephiroth hadn't. Which was understandable. Cloud probably wouldn't be too keen to trust taking a new lover if _his_ last one had taken a knife to him in the bed they shared. Cloud shuffled his feet and knocked again. He'd botched things. Really, seriously screwed everything up.

The door opened smoothly, silently, and there stood Sephiroth, regal in all his stern glory. Wordlessly, the General stepped back and waved a hand inside.

Gulping thickly, Cloud stepped into the General's living room and turned around to meet his fate. But when he again faced the now-closed door, Sephiroth wasn't there. Cloud blinked bemusedly. He understood, flinching, as a hand descended lightly on his shoulder from behind.

"Cadet Strife." The General's voice was soft and deep, but Cloud ached at the lack of the easy intimacy with which he'd so recently said Cloud's name.

"Yes, General?"

"You abandoned your assignment. Why?"

Cloud hesitated a fraction of a second before answering. Then he sighed inwardly. There wasn't much point in lying about it now, was there? "I was thinking, sir."

"Thinking?" There was a mocking undertone to the General's deceptively soft voice.

"Yes, General."

The grip on Cloud's shoulder tightened, un-gloved nails digging very slightly into the flesh. "About what?"

"You, sir."

"Plotting more ways to bring me to heel, were you?"

"No!" Cloud gasped, tears pricking at his eyes. "I was hurting. I wanted you so badly but Zack said I would have to make the first move but I couldn't tell you and nothing I did was working and you didn't want me because I'm a scrawny, weak little brat and I just wanted to find a way to get you to notice me and I forgot all about courier, sir, I really did forget, honestly..." Cloud sucked in a deep breath and bit his lip, effectively shutting off the stream of babble that insisted on falling uncontrollably from his lips.

Silence. Then, a voice that held nothing of mocking and everything of deep regret. "That was why you were crying on the practice field?"

"Yes, sir," Cloud whispered almost voicelessly, waiting for the blade to all.

"Then I owe you an apology."

Cloud's eyes flew wide and he turned around. "Sir?"

Sephiroth jerked his hand from Cloud's shoulder, his eyes dark and cold. Suspicious. "You've been acting…strange lately. Then you didn't show up for work. And I saw Hojo watching you, and I thought…well, it doesn't matter what I thought."

"It does to me…sir."

A long pause, followed by a slight, almost silent sight. "I thought you were like the last one. The one Hojo sent."

Cloud sucked in a quick gasp. "Hojo sent her?"

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed. "I'll have to speak to Zackary about keeping his mouth shut, it seems."

Cloud flushed and shook his head. "I asked him, sir. I wanted to know about you, sir. Wanted to know whether you…" He faltered and took a step back.

"Whether I what?" The cold voice turned to ice.

"Just…whether you would be interested in me or not, sir."

"Why?" A simple question on the surface, but with many layers and ripples beneath that deep, cultured voice.

Cloud took a deep breath, staring up into Sephiroth's frozen green eyes. "Because I love you. Because you're warm and gentle, and you care about me. Because you're careful with your soldiers' lives and concerned about their well-being. Because no one else seems to recognize how wonderful you are. And…" He flushed a deep, unrelenting scarlet. "Because no one's ever made me feel the things you do, just by looking at me." Cloud looked down then, lifting a hand to scratch nervously at his head.

The silence spun out between them, and Cloud's nervousness built and grew. Finally, he felt the gentle brush of fingers beneath his chin, urging him to tilt his face upwards. Lips—those deep, sensual lips—met his in a soft caress, claiming him, burning him even as they only barely touched him, and Cloud wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's shoulders, pulling himself up against the older man, surrendering to Sephiroth's cool embrace.

Finally, Sephiroth pulled back, his eyes hot like melted emeralds. "I made a mistake, Cloud. I thought you were like the rest of them, but you're not, are you? Those seduction attempts," he laughed softly, and Cloud smiled, joining in on the joke. "They were real, weren't they?"

"I-I tried to tell you, but I didn't know how." Cloud frowned, his arms tightening about Sephiroth's shoulders. "It was all so overpowering. And you're you, and I'm…just me."

Sephiroth chuckled and unwound Cloud's arms from his shoulders. Taking one calloused hand in his, he led a bemused, unresisting Cloud through the door to the bedroom. "Just you?" Sephiroth murmured as he lowered Cloud onto the bed, vertical pupils dilated with budding arousal. "That, Cadet Strife, has been enough from the beginning."

Cloud gasped and sighed in pleasure at Sephiroth's gentle caressing, moving as the man directed as each article of his clothing was discarded, piece by piece. He swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling vulnerable and lost as the cool air of the room drifted over his skin, muting the heat between his thighs. Hesitantly, he whispered, "Sephiroth?"

"Hush, little warrior," Sephiroth murmured, running soothing fingers through Cloud's unruly spikes of hair. Then he stood and released the clasp on that single buckle that strained across his chest. "I'll be gentle this time, I promise." A feral gleam flickered behind the startling green of his eyes. "Next time," he shrugged. "Well, I am a beast, after all."

Cloud shook his head, reaching out for Sephiroth even as his blood pounded in his veins. This was what he wanted, what he craved. "Not a beast."

Sephiroth chuckled and quickly stripped off the rest of his clothing, dropping it carelessly to the floor in front of the bed.

Cloud gasped as his arousal spiked, sending waves of pleasure dancing through his body. He couldn't take his eyes off Sephiroth's creamy, lithe form even as the man slithered onto the bed and covered Cloud's body with his own, one muscled thigh slipping easily between Cloud's legs to press against his aching sex. A panting moan tore loose from Cloud's throat, swallowed by a fierce, savage kiss as Sephiroth devoured his lips. His fingers clenched in Sephiroth's long mass of silver hair, Cloud gave in to the kiss, parting his lips and submitting to his General's hot, demanding tongue. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before, wrapped in strong arms, encased in a cocoon of emerald protection and possessed by cool green fire.

They moved together, a shifting sea of give and take, Cloud's hesitant explorations encouraged and returned by firm touches and deep, sucking kisses that pulled marks to the surface of his pale skin. By the time Sephiroth entered him—gently, slowly, to accommodate his untried young lover's adjusting body—Cloud was panting and writhing, his nails scoring deep ridges into his General's back as one strong hand wrapped itself around his straining arousal. And Cloud knew, as his body reached its peak and spilled over into unrivaled ecstasy, that even as he submitted to Sephiroth, Sephiroth—his Sephiroth—was surrendering to him as well.


End file.
